The House Interview

House agreed to an interview, but only let us ask him 5 questions.

I Don’t Have Any Pants Please Someone Help Me With Getting Some Pants: Medically speaking, are pants important?
House: Pants are incredibly important medically. The only people who can survive for an extended amount of time without pants are sexy people.

I Don’t Have Any Pants Please Someone Help Me With Getting Some Pants: So sexy people don’t need pants?
House: Well, everybody needs pants sometimes. Sexy people look really good without pants, but if they started just going everywhere without pants, it would cause problems.

I Don’t Have Any Pants Please Someone Help Me With Getting Some Pants: So they might get sick?
House: Sexy people are already at risk of getting sick from being too sexy. Not wearing pants would make them sexier, so they’d be even more likely to get sick.

I Don’t Have Any Pants Please Someone Help Me With Getting Some Pants: You can get sick from being too sexy?
House: It’s possible, but you’ve got to be really sexy. Like Ronnie McCoy sexy.

I Don’t Have Any Pants Please Someone Help Me With Getting Some Pants: Is it lupus?
House: It’s not lupus.

I Don’t Have Any Pants Please Someone Help Me With Getting Some Pants: Thanks, House!
House: Now give me the goddamn pills you promised.

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